After reading and hearing about the current events between the possible reunification of the families in North and South Korea, I can really understand the pain and anxiety they must feel after all those years of being separated from family members not to mention those who were living in such depraved conditions in North Korea.
My reasons for saying this and understanding their situation to some extent is due to spending six years in federal prisons (soon going on seven), and experiencing what many of these family members in North Korea have faced.
I understand that my placement in prison was the result and consequences of my past involvement with one of New York Citys most notorious Asian street gangs, whereas the family members from North Korea were placed and restrained there without choice, as they became political prisoners.
I came to prison at the age of 24, and throughout the years, I have experienced many hardships, trials, and tribulations to this day. The prison experience, in the beginning, had broken me down. By this, I m talking about my pride, my attitude, my mentality, and most of all, the way I lived out in the world.
After growing up in New York all my life, I became adapted to the American way of life, where I took many things for granted. I lived in a nice home in a nice neighborhood with a loving and supporting family. I had the opportunities and experiences to enjoy the simple and luxurious lifestyles, but it seemed like I was never content with what I had.
Its like a typical growing youth in America, or even grown man, where after enjoying the first experience of something new like a bike or a car, you get bored with it after a while. At that point, you want a change in your life, whether it s newer or better, and you continue to take advantage of the good things in the present, looking for more in the future, and forgetting about the past, when you were worse off with nothing.
However, this is human nature, to compare ourselves with those who are better off than us and envying others, whether its dealing with materialistic things, status, wealth, prestige, or power, rather than comparing ourselves with those worse off than us and being thankful for what we have that others don t.
After being in prison all these years, I had to experience living in conditions where I had to live among individuals who dont hold the same moral standards of being considerate of others or being respectful. Then, I had to live by certain prison rules and regulations like standing up as they count inmates at certain parts of the day.
As time passed by, I missed the simple foods of our Korean culture. I missed the times when my family would sit together to eat, expecially on holidays I missed the comfort of sleeping on my own bed, in my own home. I missed the privacy I had. I missed the little things in life to the big things. Most of all, I missed my family, and just being able to spend time with them.
These were all things that I took for granted out in the world, as most Korean-Americans do today. The biggest trials I faced were not being able to be there for my family as they needed someone while they were sick or going through difficult times. It s one of the worst things that a person can face, which is to not be able to be there for a loved one or to be able to help them during difficult circumstance.
Ive seen many other inmates experience their loved ones dying on their death bed, and not being able to hold their hand or say what they feel during their last moments in life. Then, I ve seen them not being able to pay their last respects at their funeral proceedings. Its a feeling that I haven t had to experience, and I thank God for that.
Being in prison is not something thats easy to deal with, and I would never wish that anyone experience such a life, expecially a Korean. For this reason, I write to the many at-risk Korean-American youths, as well as college students, to explain to them what I currently experience and had experienced, and I encourage them to not take advantage of the little things that I can no longer enjoy as I sit behind these prison walls.
My philosophy is that I can warn and advise someone of something that I personally experienced but I cant force them to act on my advice. However, I did my part as a moral human being to inform them It s like the saying goes, You can bring the horse to the water, but you can t force it to drink it.
After being broken down and realizing the pitfalls of human nature, I turned my life around by turning to God and becoming a born-again Christian. It was this change to Christianity that changed me as a whole, inside and out, and gave me a better perspective on life, where God showed me how He turned a situation that went bad (which was me), and used it for something good, which was allowing me to reach out to others regardless of where I was.
As many Korean-Americans take for granted the simple things in life that our parents and grandparents couldn t enjoy during the Korean War, or as they were growing up in South Korea, we should all thank God for the many opportunities that we have here in America and the little things that we can enjoy that others, both in North and South Korea, cant.
When our parents and grandparents came to America they came with the American Dream, to give their children and future generations the opportunities and privileges they couldn t experience. However, I also stress this important fact we should always remember and keep in mind, which is this. When our parents and grandparents came to America, they did not come with the intention to do away with our Korean culture and customs, but rather that we live and remain as Koreans in America, experiencing the American Dream. Therefore, we should never ignore our ethnic culture, do away with our customs, and forget who we are.
We will always be Korean by blood, and no matter how American we act or want to be, we will always be looked upon as Koreans in this society. Nothing will change this fact.
Im reminded of this, especially in prison. Black, Latino, and White inmates always have a tendency to stereotype every oriental as being Chinese, and in here, they always call an Asian, Chino. So, when they do call me Chino, I don t respond, and they ask me why I dont respond, and my answer to that is Im not Chinese, I m Korean. Then, they would say, Whats the difference? My answer to this would be, (if, the Latino was Colombian), How would you respond if I called you, Mexico? Then, they would understand my point.
Getting back to my original topic, I sit in prison today, and I get disappointed by some of my former friends and even relatives when I ask them for small favors like writing a letter every now and then to keep me informed of whats going on in the world outside, or sending some pictures of them or places in New York or any part of the world, and they don t.
To me, receiving and sending letters to people on the outside helps me to keep in touch with the world, as my body, and sometimes, my mind is inside this prison, feeling lonely and anxious to go home.
As I look out these prison windows, I see the beautiful sunrise and sunset, and I dream of seeing and enjoying this beautiful God-given sight, outside on the shore of the beach with a Korean woman, that God will one day lead me to love and cherish as my wife.
So, for all of you that are reading this article, things could always be worse. I could be out there in the world, reading this article, and you could be in here, or somewhere worse, like North Korea, where food, freedom, and opportunity is very limited or not available at all, not being able to see or hug the ones that you love for an indefinite period of time, or just to be able to say how much you miss them or love them.


Feel welcome to write David Yi, at Korean Youth Services P.O. Box 630444 Little Neck, N.Y. 11363-0444.