▶ Same-sex parents defy white, urban stereotypes.
JACKSONVILLE, Florida ? Being gay in this Southern city was once a lonely existence. Most people kept their sexuality to themselves, and they were reminded of the dangers of being openly gay when a gay church was bombed in the 1980s. These days, there are eight churches in the city that welcome gay worshipers.
The changes may seem surprising for a place where churches that have long condemned homosexuality remain a powerful force. But as demographers sift through recent data releases from the United States Census Bureau, they have found that Jacksonville is home to one of the biggest populations of gay parents in the United States.
In addition, the data show, child rearing among same-sex couples is more common in the South than in any other region of the country, according to Gary Gates, a demographer at the University of California, Los Angeles. Gay couples in Southern states like Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Texas are more likely to be raising children than their counterparts on the West Coast, in New York and in New England.
The pattern, identified by Mr. Gates, is also notable because the families in this region defy the stereotype of a gay America that is white, affluent, urban and living in the Northeast or on the West Coast.
“We’re starting to see that the gay community is very diverse,” said Bob Witeck, chief executive of Witeck-Combs Communications, which helped market the census to gay people. “We’re not all rich white guys.”
Black or Latino gay couples are twice as likely as whites to be raising children, according to Mr. Gates .
Experts offer theories for the pattern. A large number of gay couples, possibly a majority, entered into their current relationship after first having children with partners in heterosexual relationships, Mr. Gates said. That seemed to be the case for many blacks and Latinos in Jacksonville, for whom church disapproval weighed heavily.
“People grew up in church, so a lot of us lived in shame,” said Darlene Maffett, 43, of Jacksonville, who had two children in eight years of marriage before coming out in 2002. “What did we do? We wandered around lost. We married men, and then couldn’t understand why every night we had a headache.”
Moreover, gay men who have children do so an average of three years earlier than heterosexual men, census data shows, Mr. Gates said.
Ms. Maffett’s father was a Baptist preacher, and her former husband was a member of the Church of Christ, so she knew how unwelcoming some churches could be for gays. Even so, she felt little connection to the gay congregation in Jacksonville .
“The pastors were all white guys,” said Ms. Maffett, who is black. “They were nice to us, but we weren’t really feeling that they knew how to cater to kids.” Then she met Valerie Williams, a customer service worker who had been part of the city’s gay community for years. Last summer, Ms. Williams, 33, became pastor of St. Luke’s Community Church, one of the oldest gay-friendly churches in the city, and set up a youth program. Attendance by the mixedrace congregation swelled to more than 90 from 25 .
In 2009, the Census Bureau estimated that there were 581,000 same-sex couples in America, Mr. Gates said; the bureau does not count gay singles.
About a third of lesbians are parents, and a fifth of gay men are. Advocacy groups argue that their children are some of society’s most vulnerable, with fewer legal protections and less health insurance than children of heterosexual parents.
This year, the bureau will count married same-sex partners for the first time. About 32 percent of gay couples in Jacksonville are raising children, Mr. Gates said, second only to San Antonio, Texas, where the rate is 34 percent.
Ms. Williams confronts the complications facing children with gay parents with a program called Youth Power Hour. The group of about 20 discussed their problems recently.
“It feels good to be around people who don’t just have moms and dads,” said one girl. “I like it because I’m not alone anymore.”
By SABRINA TAVERNISE
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