By MICHAEL SLACKMAN

BENI SUEF, Egypt - The United States spends a lot of money in Egypt. It gives Egypt about $1.7 billion in cash aid annually, most of which goes to purchase weapons and support the military. There is also a huge United States Embassy in Cairo, second in size only to the new one in Iraq .

The United States also spent about $2,000 over two years to teach Yousra Yousef to speak English. She is a 15-yearold from Asyut, one of the most conservative, tradition-bound cities in this country, once an incubator for Islamic extremism. Officials in Washington were upset at how much it cost to teach Ms.Yousef, an official here said, because in other countries, the same program costs about $1,000 a student.

“The most important idea I learned is to respect differences,”said Ms.Yousef, with a big smile.

She said this in English, expressing an idea considered rebellious in a society that prizes and encourages conformity. Ms.Yousef picked up her new language and thinking skills as part of Access, an after school English language program. Since its inception in 2004, it has taught 32,000 students in 50 countries.

Access arrived in Egypt about two years ago and 182 teenagers , Christians and Muslims, young men and young women, have graduated from the program. The only requirement is that they come from poor families.

The program was never promoted as part of the Bush administration’s drive to bring democracy to the Middle East, and may never have been conceived in those terms. But the young people say it has changed their lives, leading them to embrace diversity, tolerance and compromise, the building blocks of a democratic, pluralistic society.

“Everything in my life is different now,”said Manal Adel Ahmed, a 16-year-old girl who also is from Asyut.“Before, I was afraid to deal with anybody who was different, I thought it was bad. Now, I think it’s important to get to know other people and other cultures.”

The course work emphasizes learning English, but it also aims to impart a better understanding of American culture, which is often quite alien to the young people here.

Having completed the two-year course, a group of young women were participating in a three-day alumni camp here, about an hour and a half drive south of Cairo. The camp was held at the Mediterranean Center for Sustainable Development, a walled oasis in a poor, dry region of Egypt .

“You can’t build democracy by saying,‘We take democracy,’” said Adly Hassanein, who owns the center with his wife.“You have to build democracy in the hearts of young people.”

There is a potentially controversial component of the program, which is to build affection for the United States. But that did not seem to bother the students, even when they were asked to wave little American flags to greet the United States ambassador to Egypt, Margaret Scobey, who stopped by to visit.

“Their first question to the ambassador was,‘What’s next for us?’”said Robert Lindsey, the State Department’s Egypt coordinator for Access. The students seemed disappointed by the answer. They were told there were no more steps to Access, that it could help them get into other programs, but that would be up to them.

“We took the first step, so we want to take the next step,”said Bishoy Wanees, 15, of Minya.