대입 에세이 작성요령에 대한 기사가 이제까지 본보 지면을 통해 여러차례 나간 적이 있는데 학부모들에게는 도움이 됐지만 실제로 대입을 준비하는 2세들에게는 정확한 의미의 전달이 부족했던 것이 사실이다. 따라서 이번 특집면을 통해 지난해 하버드에 우수한 성적으로 합격한 사라 최양이 2004년 가을 하버드 대학 지원시 작성, 제출했던 에세이를 영어 원문 그대로 게재한다. 작년 2005년 산타로사의 몽고메리 고교를 졸업하고 현재 하버드대 1학년에 재학중인 사라 최양은 당시 대입 인터뷰를 하는 자리에서 하버드 면접관으로부터 에세이를 훌륭하게 썼다는 칭찬을 받았다고 한다. 최양은 또 대학입시를 앞둔 후배들을 위해 에세이 작성 요령에 대해 다음 영문을 통해 조언하고 있다. <편집자주>

나는 이렇게 준비하고 이렇게 썼다

Good grades? Check. Orchestra? Check. Ambition to become a doctor or lawyer? Check. These are some of the most common interests and activities that are shared by scads of like-minded youth across the nation, myself included. Now tell me, if you were an admissions officer, would you want to read thousands of application essays on how the violin transformed your life, or how ever since you were young you desperately wanted to become a doctor? Chances are, no matter how passionate or dedicated the writer, your answer would be no. The 250∼500 word personal essay is the applicants’ main time to truly demonstrate aspects of their personality, values and potential contribution to the college. This is where the admission officer decides if this student can and will bring something new to the table.
So, what to talk about in an admissions essay? Well, it’s important to take a step back and evaluate, what exactly makes you who you are? What makes you tick? What makes you unique? For myself, I chose to hone in on three particular areas that I felt passionate about and that made me unique.
The first of these areas is a large amalgam consisting of my opinions, values, and morals. These are the foundation on which I have based my life. These are completely individual and tailored by my life experiences. For me, it’s important to hold fast to your opinions and be strong in voicing them no matter what you think others want to hear. Don’t be afraid to take a completely different approach to something mundane if you honestly have a differing opinion about it. Your opinions make you irreplaceable. Cherish that.
Another area which I felt passionate about is finding something you’re good at, and pursuing it for a lengthy period of time. This demonstrates that in matters of interest, you can be serious and responsible. Rather than a smorgasbord of interests that are all mediocre and fleeting, having a dedication to one thing is something that is beneficial in general, not just to get into college. If you have a particular developed talent, show it off!
The last area which I chose to focus on was community service. Sharing my talent with as many people as possible is one of the greatest joys in my life, as well as an area for personal growth as well. The experiences and interactions gained are absolutely priceless.
So, how does this apply to an essay? Well, after asking the people in my room what they wrote about, I’ve noticed that almost all talked about some interesting aspect to a character building event, occurrence, activity, mentor, etc. The important thing is that each essay was completely individual. One of my roommates talked about her goofy and one of a kind laugh. For her, spreading happiness through the smallest of small acts of laughing is crucial (a form of community serviceperhaps). Another roommate talked about starting an editorial column in the newspaper, and another her experiences in Mexico. While the actual experiences and such are not exceptional or exclusive in any way, their takes on it and methods of relaying it were.
The combination of the three areas that I talked about before helped to make the writers more three dimensional, more palpable to the college admissions officer. And that is all you can really hope for in a college personal essay.

하버드대에서 칭찬받은 에세이 전문

사라 최

“Now go to the window and take a good look outside.”
I dutifully followed the optometrist’s advice and walked to the window. On my left I could see each distinct needle on the pine tree. Straight ahead I could see not only the expression of a toddler’s face as he walked into the adjacent office, but I could also make out what appeared to be the remnants of his breakfast, strewn on the front of his mother’s skirt. I experimented with taking my new glasses off (blurry!) then putting them back on (clear!), while paying little attention to the obvious bemusement of my optometrist and mother.
Objects in the distance no longer appeared hazy and indistinct! As I happily skipped out to the parking lot on that momentous day, I marveled at the newfound clarity with which I could view the world.
Having poor eyesight, glasses were the catalyst that brought me from a world that was dim and uncertain to a world that was clear and focused. This transformation occurred on another occasion where I was thrust into a new world of clarity.
As California’s Jr. Miss, it is safe to say I am fairly composed and graceful… under the bright lights of the stage. Offstage it’s an entirely different story. One day, while playing handball, I tripped over my opponent’s foot. I later found out in the doctor’s office that I had fractured the radial head in my left arm. Adding to the embarrassment of describing how a foot suddenly materialized right as I was aiming a killer serve was the fact that I was supposed to go on a month-long European Tour with the San Francisco Youth Orchestra two weeks later. TWO WEEKS LATER! How could I possibly play the violin as the Associate Principal Second Violin in the best concert halls in Austria, France, Germany, and the Netherlands with a fractured radial head?!
My doctor told me to take it easy, and to skip the Bon Voyage concert to be held just prior to my orchestra’s departure. I glumly sat in the audience while enviously watching my friends give a performance to remember. Oh, I tried to slip in an hour or two of practicing the violin at home, but my doctor became suspicious when the swelling got worse, not better. He guessed the truth, and imprisoned my poor arm in a cast and sling, not because it was necessary for mending the bone, but because I would otherwise be tempted to practice the violin preventing my arm from ever healing properly. My mother, tired of hearing me plucking notes out on my beloved violin, decided to bring me to an acupuncturist.
Here, I discovered a new world of teas, needles, and soothing remedies, which immediately alleviated the pain and increased mobility in my arm. While Western medicine can help produce astounding results, there are often also side effects that are potentially disastrous for musicians. Some examples include trembling (the kiss of death for a violinist) or dry mouth (Can you imagine playing the flute with dry mouth?). I found that Asian medicine is more gentle, and surprisingly, also very effective. Society tends to place a great deal of faith in the wondrous powers of modern technology and Western medicine while Asian medicine has been all but forgotten despite its long and rich history of success. However, it was the combination of modern x-ray machines, casts, and slings together with needles, teas, and herbal medicines that ultimately expedited my healing.
On that fateful day out on the handball court, rather than shattering my future, fracturing my radial head actually helped me to discover with more clarity what the future had in store for me. Although the details have yet to be revealed, that fated foot ignited my calling to practice a combination of Asian medicine and Western medicine that will help to bring healing to injured musicians. I will uncover the best of both worlds, and in time, create a new branch of medicine that will hopefully be the harbinger for future generations of musicians in pain. As my glasses sharpened blurry images ahead of me, my injury and subsequent healing have made my future more clear. Of course, the doubts and statements made by skeptical observers occasionally cause little cracks in my‘glasses’, but, you know what? I see beyond that. I can overlook the smudges, cracks, and stains in my ‘glasses’ in order to see a bright and clear picture of my future.