We all have had momentous events in our lives that have either set, or altered, the course of our very being. I have had three such events.

First one was when, at the age of ten, I came to America, in 1940. I sometimes wonder what would have been my fate if I couldn?, or didn?, come to America. Perhaps, even as a teen-ager, I might have been drafted into the Japanese army to fight against the awesome American army in the Pacific theatre of war.

The second event, or a series of situations, was witnessing the lives of my father and mother as they struggled to serve God in the Chicago Korean community in an American environment which was all too unfamiliar to them.

The third set of events, which I would like to share with you, are my courtship and the lifetime of living with my wife, Soong Ok Lee Yi.

After the completion of my military service, with the U. S. Marine Corps in March of 1954, I wanted to continue my education at the University of Illinois. So, in the spring of 1954, I went to Champaign, Illinois to pre-register for the upcoming fall semester. That? when I met Soong for the first time.

A few years earlier, Mr. Kyung Won Lee whom many of you know as KW, a pioneer Asian American journalist and former editor of the Los Angeles Korea Times English Edition, went through Chicago on his way to Atlanta, to study journalism.

It was early in the morning, about 7:00 A.M. It was early but his craving for Korean food got the best of his usually good senses and he telephoned the Chicago Korean Methodist Church; he had heard about the good food and the hospitality provided by the pastor and his wife.

The pastor did not own a car, so he took public transportation to come and get them at the downtown train station. The welcome, and the Korean food he received, was so warm and genuine, and heartfelt by KW, that he vowed he would, someday, repay the kindness.

He was so grateful that, when we met on the U of I campus, he wanted to do something very special for me; he said he would introduce me to a very special girl. He said he would make all the arrangements; all I had to do was to go to a certain place. It was her dormitory.

At the arranged time, I went to the designated place, expecting to meet a prim, Korean graduate student. In those days, women usually dressed up to go on a date. What a shock! I don? remember what she wore, but I do remember that her hair was up in curlers, and she did not look at all ready for a date. It turned out that KW had not even talked to her about the date or about me.


What was really strange was that, in spite of how she looked, she looked terrific to me. Is this what is referred to as "love at first sight?" One impression that I had received was that she had a world of confidence in herself; otherwise, how could she appear that way for a first date.

As it turned out, she was studying for an exam and we did not go out that evening. I thought pretty much that that was the end of it.

At that time, most students in Midwest America came to Chicago for summer jobs, and Soong was no different. I lived in Chicago, so we had our belated courtship there.

We were relatively old; Soong had finished her college undergraduate education (Ewha Womans University) in Korea and I had completed two years of college and also my military obligations. So, maybe we were ready for marriage; at least I knew I was.

My mother, long before she met Soong, set just one prerequisite for my future wife; that she must be an Ewha graduate. I did not know about this prerequisite until later.

As a matter of fact, there were a lot of things I did not know. For example, I did not know, for some time, that Soong? father was a medical doctor in North Korea before coming down to South Korea, with his family, just prior to the outbreak of the Korean War.

In Champaign-Urbana, I lived on the east side of the campus, near the engineering schools, and Soong lived on the west side near the fine arts schools. In the evenings, after finishing my job (earning my meals) and studying, no matter how late it was, I would cross the Campus Quad to spend those few precious hours with Soong.

There were so many things about her that left long lasting impressions on me. One time we were at a picnic, and everyone brought food and drinks in bottles. In those days, there were no flip-open cans and bottle openers were essential. No one brought a bottle opener. Once again, Soong had the solution; she yanked the bottle caps off with her teeth. You might think it was crude for a lady to do such a thing; I thought it was terrific. She saw a need, and she solved it.

Another time, we were driving to Chicago in freezing rain, and I had an accident. We spun around a number of times on the north-bound lanes, crossed over the wide median, spun around uncontrollably on the south-bound lanes before finally crashing into the snow banks on the far side of the multi-lane divided highway. All the time we were spinning, never sure we would not flip over, she was in complete control of herself; there were no signs of fear, panic. Rather, her first comment was, was I okay?

It wasn? long; I proposed marriage. She declined; I cried. Maybe she felt sorry for me; she finally said yes. We were married, between semesters, in 1954-55, in Chicago. We now have two children, one girl and one boy (both lawyers one a Northwestern Law School graduate, the other a Harvard Law School graduate), and five grandchildren, all of whom live near our home.

One of the reasons why we have a comfortable life style is that, even though it was difficult, we both finished college. I would have been content to live a life of a technician, but Soong insisted that I finish college.

To accomplish this, Soong took on a full time job, took care of the two children and, at the same time, helped my parents with the demands of the church.

After I finished school, she went back to school, taking both children with her to Champaign, and finished her Masters Degree in Library Science. At that time, she was the third Korean to have received a Library Science degree.

Part of our ease with each other comes from our compatibility. We agree that providing social services is essential. We both enjoy sports and politics. Most importantly, we both enjoy people relationships. From this enjoyment, comes other good things. Probably, the fact that we were school-mates before becoming spouses adds to our amicable relationship.

When I was chairman of our church? administrative board, we held most of the board meetings in our home, and all the spouses were invited. I would/could not ask Soong to do this; she just knew that it was the right thing to do, and she did it. The comfortable setting made our deliberations more fruitful.

Soong worked twenty-three years at the Skokie Public Library. At that time, it was acknowledged as the best and the largest public library in the state of Illinois, second only to the Chicago Public Library.

Soong was the Assistant Chief Librarian in charge of the library? Technical Services Department. This suburban library had 100 employees, 9 of whom were Koreans personally hired by Soong. The Chief Librarian had complete confidence in Soong? judgment of people and the ability to manage the library.

To this day (the Chief Librarian is now 86 years old), they still communicate constantly. She is a permanent fixture in our home during the holidays and birthdays.

For a period of four years, I had a super job in Springfield, the capitol city of the state of Illinois, managing a federal program for minority contractors and consultants for the Illinois Department of Transportation. For the first year, I was commuting from our home in the Chicago suburb, a distance of over two hundred miles. So that I would not have to make this trip every week-end, Soong made the decision to move from our beautiful home, which she dearly loved, located in the middle of a golf course, to Springfield.

Shortly after the Ewha International Foundation? 30th Annual Meeting, held in Chicago last year, Ewha Womans University President Sang Chang wrote to Soong to say that, "The Chicago Ewha alumnae all speak very highly of you and your good example of what an Ewha alumna should be. I want you to know my deep appreciation for all that you do. Indeed, your humility and dedication make you a model for all Ewha families." Soong, indeed, fulfilled my mother? lifetime dreams.

We are a part of numerous groups, many of which we initiated, and Soong is the heart and soul of all of them. For example, there is an annual golf group Christmas party; mostly, it is held in our home. Every Saturday morning, for our regular foursome, Soong packs a snack for us. This isn? easy; we tee off at 7:00 A.M.

We are now in our 70?, mentally and physically healthy, very comfortable with each other, surrounded by friends and family, and have meaningful work to do. What more can we want? Indeed, we are blessed.

The reason why I wanted to share this story with you is that, I think, everyone can have a wonderful life if only we would treat our spouses with thoughtfulness and dignity, accept them as superior to ourselves in all aspects, and respect them with all due reverence. Try it; you?l find that it is not difficult to do.

I would be remiss if I did not thank Soong for the wonderful friends that I have and the respect that I receive both in the social and the professional sectors of my life, all made possible by Soong? graciousness toward the people with whom I associate.

Finally, I know deep within my soul, that my father must have put in a good word for me with the God that he obeys and loves.

Thank you God, for everything.