This is a story about a Korean youth who loved to smoke cigarettes. Since I happen to be a die-hard non-smoker, who’ll go to any length to avoid being in the same room with smokers, I can’t help but remember this fellow every now and then.
I met Young when he was 16 years old. I was his homeroom teacher at a high school, some four decades ago.
Young’s father was a Christian pastor, who was in his mid-40’s when the boy was born, and he doted on the child. As Young’s home was about 60 miles from the school, he stayed in a boarding house with other students.
There, he acquired the habit of smoking, which was forbidden at the school, run by Canadian missionaries. Any student caught smoking was automatically expelled from the school.
On a number of occasions I caught Young smoking secretly, but every time I saw him, he begged me not to report, promising that he would never smoke again. I, as a teacher, should have reported him, but I could not bear the thought of seeing the boy expelled from school.
One day, one of the teachers caught him smoking in the boy’s room, and Young was brought to the office of the principal. He was ordered expelled from the school, just one year and a few months before his graduation.
It broke my heart to watch Young leaving school with his old father, who was in tears. I felt wretched that I didn’t have the power to keep the boy in school.
When Young turned 17, his parents decided the boy ought to be married. Young’s father immediately thought of the daughter of a member of his church. The girl was not only beautiful but warmhearted.
The pastor knew his son was not good enough for the girl, but he wanted to try anyway, and thus went against his own conscience.
One summer evening, the pastor visited the girl’s father, just as the man was returning from his rice-paddy.
“Mr. Shin, my visit today is different from my regular visits.” the pastor said. “As you well know, my son is a bad boy. He smokes. He was kicked out of school. And yet, I must ask your favor today. Will you give me your daughter for my daughter-in-law?”
The girl’s father was stunned by this unexpected request. At first, he could hardly say a word.
Then, suddenly, the girl’s father called his wife and daughter and asked them what they thought. There was no opposition. The girl’s mother said, “The pastor knows what is best, and we will follow him.”
Thus, Young was married to this beautiful girl in a grand ceremony at his father’s church.
Before long, Young and his bride fell in love with each other. They felt happy and envied no one. Still, Young continued his cigarette habit.
When he smoked, he asked his wife to keep an eye out for his father. So, she stood outside their room as a lookout. Whenever his wife gave him a warning, Young quickly extinguished his cigarette and threw it out the window.
A year after their marriage, Young’s wife bore him a healthy baby boy. A few years later, she bore him another son. Although Young did not work, and his family depended on his father, nobody complained. His parents seemed to be only too happy to live out their old age, surrounded by their children and grandchildren.
One day, Young fell ill, and a few weeks later, he was dead. The family mourned.
Young’s widow visited her husband’s grave alone every day. There, she planted cigarettes in the dirt and lit them. She wanted her husband to continue to be happy. The cigarette-lighting ritual at the grave site continued for many years.

Joo Han Kang, who ran a business in San Francisco, previously taught English at the Seoul National University and German in other institutions in Korea. He died in May 1998.