리처드 이 원장

가주 모든 교육구 이번주부터

ST 작문 시험(California Standards Tests in writing)이 이번주부터 가주 초·중·고교에서 일제히 실시된다. 이번 시험은 연중수업제를 채택하고 있는 일부 학교를 제외하고는 모든 교육구에서 4학년부터 7학년 학생들을 대상으로 실시될 예정이다. CST 작문시험은 지난 2001년부터 실시돼 가주 영어 수준을 가늠하는 중요한 평가 기준으로 사용돼 왔다. 이번 시험에서 4학년 학생들은 narratives, summaries, information reports와 독후감(responses to literature)등 4가지 글의 종류에 대해 시험을 보게 되며 7학년들은 4학년 학생들의 글에 persuasive essays 한가지를 추가, 총 5종류의 글에 대해 테스트를 받게 된다. 올해 처음으로 작문 시험을 치르게 될 4학년 학생들을 위해 작문 전문학원 뉴베리 러닝센터 리처드 이 원장이 보내온 지난해 4점 만점을 받은 예문을 통해서 좋은 글쓰기에 대해 알아봤다.



작년 4점 만점 받은 작문

“It has has been two weeks since I entered Spend-The Day myself as I was partly awake. With Tim Salmon contest, and I have not got a reply yet. I wish I could meet Tim Salmon. He is my favorite player on the Anehiem Angels. He is also one of the best hitters on the Angels.” I thought to myself as I was partly awake. Beep, beep, beep!
“Huh? Where’s my alarm clock,” I said lazily as I woke up. “Ah, here it is. Wait, that time can’t be right. It says I have to be at school in fifteen minutes.” Uh-oh, I thought to myself.
So, as quick as a flash, I got out of bed and leaped to my door. I took off my pajamas and put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I went down stairs and expected to see my mom in the kitchen, but I saw no one anywhere downstairs. There was no sight of anyone at all. There wasn’t even a fly. So, I went back upstairs. I went in to my mom’s room and I saw a lump of something or someone under the blankets on my mom’s bed.
“Wake up mom. Mom, wake up. It’s 8:14. I’m going to be late for school.” I heard a wierd snort and a voice.
“Mikey, is that you? What do you mean your going to be late. You don’t have school today. Today is Saturday, honey,” said my mom. All of my insides froze.
“Oops,” I said.
“Yeah, oops,” my mom said back. “Well, since your up, could you get the mail for me,” my mom
“Okay,” I replied. So, I went back downstairs and went out in the front yard and out to the mail box. There were three parcels. One was a hot water bill. Another was an electricity bill, and the last one was for me. I went inside and set the bills down and opened my parcel. It was a letter for the contest I entered.
“Dear Michael,
I am pleased to inform you that you have won our Spend The Day With Tim Salmon contest. We hope you have a good time.”

Your favorite team Coach,
Mike Socia
p.s. Tim will be coming on Saturday at 9:00.

Once I was done reading, I realized today was Saturday, and it was 8:30.
He’s going to be here soon. No sooner was it 9:00 then the door bell rang. Time Salmon was standing there.
“Hey, um, Michael, how would you like it if you came to our game at 11:00?” he said. “Sure,” I said.
So I saw the game. It was the last ining, two on, two out. Salmon was up. They were down by one. After five pitches, it was full count. The sixth pitch was down the middle. Salmon hit a three run homerun and won the game. I got the homerun ball, signed by Salmon. I even got to party with the entire Angel team. That day I will never forget.


주제 이해력 높고 구성·세부묘사 탄탄

■리처드 이 원장의 평가
이글은 ‘만약 유명인과 하루를 보내게 된다면… (Imagine that you are able to spend a day with anyone you want. Write a story about what happens during that day) 이라는 주제에 대한 한 4학년 학생의 글로 지난해 CST 작문시험에 이 학생은 이 글로 4점 만점을 받았다.
글의 내용은 한 콘테스트에서 우승함으로써 유명 야구선수인 팀 샐몬과 하루를 보낼 기회를 갖게 된 학생의 픽션에 대한 이야기이다.
이글의 가장 큰 미덕은 글 속에서 대화와 당시의 상황이 세부적으로 잘 묘사돼 있어 읽는 사람으로 하여금 그 상황에 같이 있는 것처럼 느껴질 만큼 글이 생생하게 살아 있다는 점이다. 또한 ‘quick as a flash’와 같은 은유적인 표현들이 적절하게 들어가 글 읽는 재미도 더불어 주고 있다.
그러나 무엇보다 평가자들이 학생들의 글을 볼 때 가장 중요하게 보는 글의 주제에 대한 명확한 이해와 탄탄한 구성을 빼놓을 수 없다.
물론 몇가지 지적 사항도 있다. 철자법이 일단 틀린 것이 몇가지 있는데 your는 you’re로 ining는 inning으로 써야 올바른데 아마도 초고에서 학생이 정확하게 짚고 넘어가지 못한 듯 하다.